Lack of Male Intimacy :: Feminism Feminist Women Criticism

The Lack of Male Intimacy As I sit in the auditorium of the school I attend, I listen to the speaker of the day make his fatal mistake. He has done well up until now, relating to us only facts and ideas. Now, he has suffered from a lapse in judgment, and seems to have forgotten his surroundings - an all male audience. He has the audacity to display genuine, vulnerable emotion. I wait for the response I know he will get. The sound fills my ears. The all male audience brings forth a sarcastic and mocking chorus of "awwwwwww." One could not imagine the same event transpiring in an all female group. It is pretty much commonly accepted that men do not show emotion. It is pretty much commonly accepted among men that men should not show emotion. The group in the auditorium had bought into this stereotype. Most of them were probably not accustomed to seeing men display their emotions, and it made them nervous and uncomfortable. So, they reacted with the two most common defenses used when one is uncomfortable in the face of something one does not understand: criticism and humor. In "Locker Room Talk," Stephen Dunn notes that the danger of a man having sex is the possibility of "admitting he felt something...". So, Dunn believes that many males see the display of emotions as something along the same lines as an admission of guilt. Something they would try to avoid in most situations. I agree. I think it is pretty clear that men, as a rule, have trouble sharing their emotions. So, the real questions are, "why do m en have this problem," and "can things change, and how?" While there are probably a few reasons for this condition, and the answer cannot be given with absolute certainty, I think the answer can be found by looking back through time. This abstinence from intimacy is probably as old as the family structure. When humans began to settle down as families, responsibilities were assigned in the way that the family could survive the most efficiently. The children would have to be taken care of, and food would have to be provided. It made sense for one person to handle one of the two major tasks. It was logical for the mother to attend to the children, because she had carried each of them for nine months, and was required to breastfeed them.